I Love You
by Clovers-Charm
Summary: Spoilers for Season 2. Martin tucks Jake into bed after reading his mothers letter to him. As he goes to leave, he hears someone mumbling. He thinks it's Amelia but it isn't. It's Jake. What does he have to say?


Amelia was already fast asleep on the top bunk, lying on her side, curled up with her eyes shut and her breathing gently. Her blonde hair lay around her shoulders and over the side of her face like liquid gold stretched out around her pillow. She seemed excited at the idea that she could no longer see the numbers any more. Who could blame her? Now she had the chance at a normal life, living as all children should and not being burdened with the dark knowledge of what was to come and how it would affect everyone around her. I just wish Jake could feel the same. I could only imagine what he would have grown up like if he wasn't born with this gift.

But then I suppose, if that was the case then he wouldn't be Jake.

"This is the letter that mommy wrote to you." I said quietly so as not to disturb Amelia above. Jake was sitting up in his bed at the moment, leaning back, staring down at the picture in his hands, resting on his legs while I sat beside him, holding a thin piece of paper in my hands. The sight of her hand writing was painful but comforting at the same time. I began to read aloud. "Dearest Jake. I want you to know that if I could. I would always be there with you. I love you so much. And I always want you to know, how brave and special you are..." For a moment my voice thinned and I resisted the urge to choke up. Instead I forced myself to smile as I remembered her and her words before turning to him. "A thousand kisses, mommy."

Jake still hadn't looked up at me but this was nothing new. So I turned back away and carefully began to fold the piece of paper in the exact way it was creased. I wanted to keep this for as long as possible so that years from now, Jake could still read it and know just how much his mother really did love him.

As I turned and placed the letter down beside me back in the box, I said; "She's right, you know." I looked at Jake. "You're the bravest person I know, Jake... And I'm so proud of you." He didn't react and I let out a soft short chuckle at myself for expecting anything less before I reached over and took the picture out of his hands. "Come on, Buddy. It's time to go to sleep."

I put the box down on the floor out of the way as Jake lifted his covers and slipped down in the bed. I couldn't help but remember what Amelia had said, that Jake never truly slept but pretended to for my sake. I didn't want that. I didn't want Jake to protect me like that. I wanted to protect him but like so often I was powerless to help him. The best thing that I could do would be to pretend and maybe things will get better. Things have to get better.

Standing up, I glanced down at Jake as he rested his head down on the pillow and clutched a thin piece of material in his hands like a security blanket. It was his mothers. He missed her every day, and whenever I reminded him of her, I just knew he was listening. He didn't bother shutting his eyes after lying down and once again I worried about what his night would be like. While I slept in the next room he would be here. Part of me considered getting the mattress and going to sleep on the floor beside of him but I knew that wouldn't help. Nothing I could do would help. I doubt he would like me hanging around too much, it was best to let him have some peace.

Just before I left I heard Amelia mumbling something. She was a sweet, beautiful young girl, just like her mother. I wished I could have done something to help Lucy but since I couldn't, instead I would look after her daughter as if she were my own, at least until I found her father. That I had no problem with. I already felt a strong connection with Amelia, but then that probably came from the fact that she let me touch her. I didn't hold anything against Jake for the way he was but the relief at being able to hug a child, to hear them talk, it was something I desperately craved but could not have.

I was only human. Can you blame me for wishing I could stroke Jake's hair? Hold his hand when we cross the street? Kiss his cheek goodnight? Hug him good morning? Anything? What I would give to be a real father to him. I knew Jake loved me, but I resented the fact that he couldn't show it. I didn't resent him. In fact I didn't think I resented any person, just circumstances or even God for making it like this.

Why my son? Why my child? Why me?

Amelia was still mumbling as I finally stepped out into the corridor a suddenly nerve hit me. I paused and looked back at her, hoping she wasn't having a nightmare or any other problems. She might be having a side affect from what they put her through in that horrible place.

But when I took a step closer I realised Amelia was not making a sound. She was perfectly still, breathing gently and at peace. But someone was still mumbling.

Something in me froze. I didn't want to look in case I was wrong but I had to. Slowly I looked down and moved, dropping back to sit beside's of Jake again. He was staring silently ahead at the wall but his lips opened, twitching, and he seemed to be trying to speak again.

Now I was scared. The last time Jake had spoken, it had been for me to find Guillermo Ortiz who had been out to kill him and anyone like him.

"Jake? Jake, what is it?" I gasped, placing my hand as near to him as I dared and leaning in close. "Jake, tell me what's wrong."

His lips moved and I heard he was mumbling but I couldn't make out what he was saying. Finally I leaned as close as I could. Jake turned his own head and his lips breathed into my ear as he whispered. His words were rough but clear now.

_"I love you."_

I felt my heart beating against my chest painfully as I sat up again and looked at him in shock. Jake caught my eyes for a moment and the corner of his lip tilted upwards in a half smile before it dropped back into an expressionless face and he looked ahead at the wall again, silent once more.

"Oh my God... Jake..." I desperately reached for him and he tensed immediately but didn't make a sound. My hand froze inches above his head for a moment but I just couldn't help myself. Slowly I reached and touched his head, brushing some of his hair on his head in a gentle caress. I only rested there for a second before puling away. I could see it was making him uncomfortable and he relaxed as soon as I let him go. But he didn't scream when I touched him and he had actually spoken to me. "Oh, Jake. I love you too..."

Jake didn't say anything else. I smiled down at him, my smile turning into a large grin and after a moment I stood and walked back out of the room. I hesitated once more in the doorway to look back at him.

"I love you too, Jake." I breathed, feeling like I had been running for miles. "I love you too..."

Finally I shut the door and turned to face the wall opposite. A rush of emotions fell over like someone pouring warm water over my head, covering me. My lips shook and the tight feeling in my stomach that I didn't realise was there, released. Then I was laughing and crying at the same time, leaning against the door and smiling like a maniac, pressing my eyes shut as a few more tears eased down my cheeks. I could barely believe he said it. He said he loved me. Jake said he loved me.

It didn't occur to me until this moment that I wondered if Jake really did love me but now I knew. He loved me. My son loved me. And I loved him.

It took me a moment to control my tears but eventually I had to. Someone knocked on the door. I stood up and started down the hall, wiping my cheeks and eyes, still sniffing and smiling as I replayed Jake's words over and over in my head.

My son loved me.

* * *

**Right, so I had to write this because I got into the series and I was so angry/frustrated that it was cancelled. I went into it knowing it was cancelled but I was still annoyed by it. This was such an amazing series that wasn't focused on love interests, it had a deeper message, it was building up to something, it kept continuity and brought back old characters and was just so brilliant. I loved it. I hate that it was cancelled. I wish they would continue or at least make a movie to help me move on but at the moment I am obsessed with it. I wish I could come up with a good idea, then I would try a full length fanfiction set after the season 2 but I wouldn't know where to begin. If someone else does then please let me know so I can read it.**


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